The Pangolins

by The Pangolins

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1.
Schlemihl 03:26
My shadow was not quite right for me it didn't fit beneath my feet I traded it in for self-esteem and now I can't find the receipt. I haven't grown into my old soul I'm still getting lost in all its folds my second-hand face was always late I copied what I could not create. I know it won't be the same (I know it won't be the same) So do me a favour and break my jaw 'cos I don't want to talk about it anymore I'm sorry I ever held you back I'm sorry for everything I lack. I know it won't be the same (I know it won't be the same) Look at me now, I'm what you wanted me to be but all I hear is the sound of self-defeat.
2.
Lines 05:43
I'm tired of standing on my history I'm tired of rust and rain around my bed it's a language I could never learn a different kind of distance it's the simple things that I regret. Was I at my peak on temple floors? Was it the start of something ill-defined? It's the loose teeth I can't leave alone I'm safer in the forest it's the trace of lines you left behind. I don't know who I am, I don't know anymore I'm too old to be so sure. I guess I lived in black and white too long until I lost my texture and my touch did you see me through kaleidoscopes and think I was embellished? 'cos I know I never offered much. I always had the answers up my sleeve to the questions that I chose to hear and I know you're tired of my remorse you're tired of my discomfort so I'll pretend that I'm still here. I don't know who I am, I don't know anymore I'm too old to be so sure.
3.
Strings 03:58
I've been unravelling all my strings I'm made up of in-between things I never really wanted to sing. I don't believe in myself anymore or the lines in the air that I draw I wish you weren't wishing for more. Sometimes I drop all my leaves like a tree I'm covered in rings you can't see and I hate who I want to be. My roots are tangled up and confused I set them aside for you but maybe some day they'll undo. I didn't want to be a let down but I'm still not enough, I know. I have horrible things on my list I didn't want to be part of this I didn't want to know what I missed. I can't embody whatever you saw no, I can't be the man that you want I don't know what your affection is for. I didn't want to be a let down but I'm still not enough, I know. I didn't want to be free.
4.
408 04:02
I'm still scared of voices in my bed they blame me to sleep and sound just like me. There's part of my mind that's dark and unkind it's full of bright ideas of how to disappear. I'm trying. Now I'm too old to live up to what I was told I'd rather be missed than disappoint like this. Well maybe I'll get by and find meaning to life and maybe I'll pull through and find meaning with you. I'm trying.

about

Lockwood, Fängström, van der Plas & Sharoh (2016).

Drums recorded at Edgetip Studio, Arnhem.
Everything else recorded at Galloway Studio, Nijmegen.

credits

released July 16, 2016

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The Pangolins Nijmegen, Netherlands

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